Lyrics

Vashti was young, she was queen of the harem that King Ahashveros had gathered around.
After a contest of one year of one-night stands, he said that she was the best lay he'd found.
King Ahashveros was famed for his drinking at parties and revelries he liked to host.
He'd tell lewd stories of women he'd been with comparing their merits... this king liked to boast.

"Vashti my Queen is quite gorgeous and talented, funny and smart and intelligent too!
And if you don't buy it, if you don't believe me, I'll have her come here and dance naked for you!"
"Vashti! Come hither!" slurred King Ahashveros, "There's no need to waste any time gettin' dressed!
My boys are waitin' to see you dance naked!" Queen Vashti was singularly unimpressed.

"I'm not your doll!" scorned Queen Vashti, "your plaything, a sex toy that you can exploit for your sport!
What you don't know is that I am a writer who went undercover [Spoken: so to speak] to research your court!
Here is your crown back, I'm sure you'll find someone who's willing to come and dance naked for you.
Meanwhile the press knows my book will be out soon! This 'Former Queen Vashti' has writing to do!"

What can a King do when his Queen has left him? He can't spend a whole night alone in his bed!
Long and hard he thought [Spoken: just think about that for a moment], till he found the answer: another year's contest to choose who to wed!
Hundreds of women signed up to audition; the king's casting couch was in use every day...
while 'Gorgeous Young Vashti' put quill to her parchment:
"Inside The King's Court: An Ex-Queen's Exposé!"